


Surprise

by shinyhappyfitsofrage



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Nudity, Sexual Humor, i think the title says it all?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 19:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6127110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinyhappyfitsofrage/pseuds/shinyhappyfitsofrage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Murder, Artemis reminded herself, is illegal. </p><p>requested by anonymous for #6: is there a reason you're naked in my bed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprise

Artemis opened the door to her room and almost immediately went into cardiac arrest. She stumbled backward, gripping the back of her desk chair for support with one hand and with the other trying desperately to shield her eyes from the horrific nightmare that was currently asleep  in her bed, a sheet wrapped around a single leg.  Only a leg. After several agonizing minutes where all Artemis could do was sputter soundlessly, staring at someone else’s bare _ass_ with bug-eyes, she finally took a final shuddering breath and let loose a scream so shrill that a thud from upstairs let her know that Conner had hit the floor. The aforementioned nightmare spasmed and then rolled violently onto the floor, swearing when skin met hard wood. 

“All right, I’m up,” grumbled Wally West. Naked Wally West. Artemis could hardly stand it. She squeezed her eyes shut and whirled around as he started to stand. She heard shuffling, then a sudden yelp. “Arte - Jesus, couldn’t you wait, like, one second? I mean, I get that you are super _into_  me and you probably could not look away, but I mean, come on. Have a little respect.”

She was shaking with rage at this time. “Why. The hell. Were you naked. In _my bed_?”

“What? No I ….” He trailed off. She imagined him paling, the set of his shoulders becoming less cocky. “Am I… is this  _your_  room?” Artemis snarled. Murder, she reminded herself, is illegal. 

There was a smattering a footsteps outside in the hall. Artemis opened her left eye, still shielding it carefully with her hand, to see Conner standing outside her door. “I heard a scream, what -” His gaze fell on what (she assumed) was the naked form of Wally West. His eyes narrowed. “Okay, what the fuck are you doing, Wally.”

“Please don’t kill me!” begged Wally. She wasn’t sure who he was talking to. “I got home from my mission with the Flash and Kaldur and I was really really tired and it was dark because everyone was gone and I just stumbled into what I thought was my room but really I was one door off and please please don’t kill me!”

“That doesn’t explain why you were _naked_  in my _bed_ ,” said Artemis frigidly to the wall. “I am going to have to soak those sheets in acid. Then I am going to burn them. Then I’ll take the ashes and burn those, and then _those_  ashes I am going to lock in a tiny box and blow it up with a nuclear bomb.”

“It isn’t like I _did_  anything!” Both Artemis and Conner blanched, the same mental image likely suddenly appearing to both of them. Upstairs, another thud let them know that M’gann, having accidentally seen the image psychically (Artemis had _warned_  her that sharing a mental link with her teenage boyfriend may not always be so pretty), had fallen to the floor. “Oh, come on, guys! I was just too tired to put on pjamas! I’m sorry, okay?”

Murder is illegal. Murdering someone because they were naked in your bed would not qualify as self-defense and would still be illegal. Digging her nails into his throat while simultaneously kicking him in every place that could possibly cause him pain would be illegal, now matter how enjoyable and rewarding it was. “Get out,” said Artemis finally.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Wally, wrapped tightly in a sheet ( _her_ sheet!), walk meekly out of the room, scooting past Connor without looking at him. With him safely out of eyesight, Artemis turned away from the wall and opened her eyes. She sighed in relief. “If I ever see a naked boy again, I think I might shoot myself.”

Conner watched him go. “He was bigger than I thought.”

“ _Thought_?” Artemis stared at him, bewildered. “At one point did you spend time _thinking_  about Wally West’s _penis_?”

He shrugged. “Haven’t we all?”

She clenched her fists. “Get out,” she snapped. 

“But I was never in,” protested Conner, gesturing to the door fame which he’d just slightly stepped over. Ignoring him, she marched to the door and slammed it shut, right in his half amused, half indignant face. Closing her eyes, she ran her hands over her face and desperately thought about anything other than the fact that Conner was so very right.


End file.
